COMING SOON

Support the band. Look unreasonably cool doing it.
All merch designed with blood, sweat, and a banana (don’t ask).

💥 Limited edition gear = gone forever


🎽 Tees *“Primates on the Elevator” cartoon band tee *“No Rules, No Regrets” bold distressed text tee *“Skate or Cry” skull & banana design

🧢 Hats Black snapback with banana-shaped “X” logo “Emo But Fast” embroidered dad hat

📼 Other “Teenage Wasteland (Again)” limited edition cassette Elevator button enamel pins (with "Emergency Stop" circled) Stage pass-style lanyards w/ band member chaos ratings